RantFever 4

I pontificate but not in the pejorative sense of the word.

Archive of Rant Fever 3, 2, 1, & Beta

Posts in March 2011

The Stampede

by: Melanie Clark | on: 2011-03-31 00:26:01

I'm going to throw this out there, only because this site is in no way linked to my Facebook page, and my situation is simultaneously so funny and frustrating that I want to write about it.

I've never been a football fan. In fact, the first football game I watched beginning to end since High School was the 2009 A&M/Texas game, and I found that football can be quite entertaining when you have someone to talk you through every play so you actually understand it. So when this year's Superbowl came around, I had no problems going to a friend's party to join in the festivities.

In the back of a house full of people though, it was hard to actually follow the game. I drifted into a rather lively chat with a guy friend about New York, musicals, and other nonsense. I should have known better.

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Enough is Enough

by: Mindy Hess | on: 2011-03-26 11:27:49

A few weeks ago, I was watching an episode of House, and was struck by something that the main character told his love interest.  The dialogue goes as such:

“Being happy and being in love with you makes me a crappy doctor [. . .] You have made me a worse doctor. And people are going to die because of that. And . . . you . . . are totally worth it.“

Last night, I went to see the Adjustment Bureau, and noticed it contained a similar theme.  For some people, when they find the one they love, so many empty spaces start to fill in that things start to feel complete.  The conundrum is, those empty spaces can sometimes be the driving force behind ambition and creativity.  Sometimes finding love means sacrificing a future where you do something far greater than anything you imagined yourself capable of. But is it worth it if you have an opportunity to either do it alone, or not at all?

For the past six months, I’ve rarely touched pen to paper. I haven’t blogged, I haven’t read, I haven’t escaped into my mind, spending hours building important scenes with my favorite characters.  It’s because I unexpectedly found someone, possibly the someone, and him and me . . . well that seems to be enough.  I thought by now, my feelings would have settled, and the writing would come back.  I thought the pain of leaving Europe would cause my stories to flourish.  But the slate that was my jaded, bitter past has been wiped clean, and the worst-case scenario of a fizzled relationship has yet to occur.

The crazy thing is, after reaching the six-month mark . . . I don’t think it ever will. 

The society we live in today seems to send a message that love isn’t real, and that it will inevitably turn apathetic and stale. What never occurred to me was that love, like most other things in life, is truly ebb and flow.  Some days seem boring and mundane, but others feel as though I’m meeting him for the first time all over again. Now, mind you, I’m new to this whole “true love” thing.  I try not to get ahead of myself, but after half a year, emotions start to solidify to the point where you can’t go back no matter how hard you try.

I never feel alone anymore. Which means, I never feel that desperate need to write.  Maybe it will come back, I don’t know. Of course I hope it does . . . but without that whole miserable lonely thing behind it. But if it doesn’t, is the loss of a few potential novels tragic? Or is it okay to just be content, in the simplest manner possible.

Perhaps I should reevaluate in another six months. 

But . . . he . . . is totally worth it.