RantFever 4

I pontificate but not in the pejorative sense of the word.

Archive of Rant Fever 3, 2, 1, & Beta

Posts in August 2010

The Best Day of My Life

by: Melanie Clark | on: 2010-08-30 20:49:10

Several weeks ago a friend of mine, one of those people who just radiates awesome, started saying that it was the best day of her life--every day. Every time someone would ask her how her day was, she responded that it was the best day of her life. That got me thinking.

Recently I've had a total change of attitude about my life. It's not that I know anything I didn't know before, but things just came together. Sources of emotional turmoil removed themselves one by one, and all of a sudden there were lily fields in West Texas instead of the endless desert I had been trodding on for the past few years--flat lily fields, but lily fields nonetheless. To see the place I live in that light is essential for my happiness, since I am very much a frolicker, and you just can't do that in the desert. West Texas is finally my home, and the work I am doing is a privilege and not a duty. Even if there isn't one person here who completely understands me, there are plenty who appreciate me, and I love them dearly.

It's easier to smile (not that I didn't before, it just took effort), it's easier to sleep, I can be loud or dorky without worrying too much that I'm making a bad impression. And I finally understand what it's like to be tried by faith, and after a time see the rewards of persevering. I can't say I've gone through anything extreme, just a collection of "one thing after another" trials that continually threw me off balance, but it is a marvelous feeling to see that principle at work in my life. Life still has it's share of challenges, but for the first time since I moved out here I can say that I am unequivocally happy.

And I've been thinking about this "best day of my life" business. I understand there will always be those days when terrible things happen, or we make terrible mistakes. I understand that some of us must face uniquely difficult challenges in life. But aside from those (or perhaps even in spite of those), shouldn't every day be the best day of our lives? For the past couple of weeks I've been telling myself every day that it is the best day of my life. And it's true. I am a day wiser than I was every 24 hours previously. Even if something super awesome happened a week ago, I still have it in my memories. Even if I wasn't in the best mood, or had a stressful day at work, I can sigh with relief in the evening, acknowledge that I did at least one worthwhile thing, and think about how I am still moving in the right direction, how much better tomorrow will be.

So folks, I was tired all day, had bad hair, and felt fat, but today was the best day of my life!

This Idiot

by: Mindy Hess | on: 2010-08-29 18:55:13

I've said before that Europeans are laid back, they let people be people, that you can be a neurotic mess or make a complete idiot of yourself, and that they are very forgiving and just gloss over it.  During my 28 years in America, I never felt that before, and truthfully my own insecurities made it so.  Perhaps the positive changes that have happened in me over these past two years were indeed brought about by my experience in Europe, but I know it doesn't mean that it couldn't have happened elsewhere. I guess it sometimes takes a drastic change to jolt yourself into constructive self-awareness.   

Sitting here, trying not to think about how sad I am because I'm leaving a place I love, I had an important realization. Even though I'm going home, back to a place where I'm afraid of insecurity washing over me like a tidal wave, there is indeed one place where there are people forgiving of me and my tendency to write before I think.  That's right here. I've said things I wish I hadn't, I haven't said things I wish I had, and more than half of what I say I wish I put differently. 

So thanks guys, for letting me be an idiot without ever feeling like one.  At times like this, when every tiny thing makes my heart ache, it helps to know that there are places where I'm allowed to be an emotional wreck, without having to worry about what people think. And yes, I am completely drunk with sentimentality right now, but y'all are the best.

 Much love,



by: Justin Mills | on: 2010-08-22 00:04:01

Overheard in Starbucks:

{a young couple approach the counter}

GUY: How much is a small?

BARISTA: A small what?

GUY: {looks at girlfriend}

GIRL: How about a large?

BARISTA: A large what?

GIRL: Well we have a gift card with ten dollars, so we need to know how much it is for two larges.

BARISTA: Two. Large. What?

If Only

by: Mindy Hess | on: 2010-08-02 13:38:02

I’ve got a problem. Well, an addiction really.  Here I am, ready to start my life of emotional independence . . . and I can’t stop falling in love. I’m beginning to wonder if the two things are connected.  If they are, it is indeed a strange and frustrating connection. But I can’t help it, it just keeps happening, and after my most recent episode, I am kicking myself harder than I ever have before.

I will ask you to indulge me as I go on in detail.

Disclaimer: If you’re not up to reading a rant that is very long (and I do mean loooooong), very exhaustive, very, very sappy, and girly to the extreme, do not expand this rant. Consider yourself warned.