RantFever 4

I pontificate but not in the pejorative sense of the word.

Archive of Rant Fever 3, 2, 1, & Beta

Posts in December 2006

That poor man!

by: Jennie Martin Howe | on: 2006-12-29 00:00:00
I was working last night with a lady who is from Brazil when a news report on the upcoming hanging of Saddam Hussein came on the TV. She then said,"That poor man! Why did they have to kill his family and take his country. All he did was keep order in his land."

I asked,"What about all those people he murdered?"

Her reply was something about Americans killing all those people in the war in Iraq, and it went back to "keeping order". I tried to explain about war crimes and such, but she wouldn't hear of it. She ended it with "That poor old man. They should have left him alone."

A joke for the day

by: Jennie Martin Howe | on: 2006-12-22 00:00:00
A professional clown woke up one morning and felt awful. He hurt everywhere. He called in to work and said he hurt so bad, he couldn't come in. The clown then went to see the doctor. "Doctor, I woke up this morning and I hurt all over!" exclaimed the clown. The doctor proceeded to poke and prod. When he was done he said, "I believe I have figured it out. Tell me, did you sleep with your clown nose on?" "Yes" said the clown. "Did you sleep with your make-up on?" asked the doctor. "Yes" replied the clown.

"AHAH!" Exclamied the doctor. "I know what is wrong with you clown. You slept funny."

My job as a hairstylist...

by: Jennie Martin Howe | on: 2006-12-21 00:00:00
Now that it's holiday time, people are coming in swarms to get their hair done to go to holiday parties, or to look nice for when family comes into town.

On average, I cut about 15-20 people's hair a day. As soon as one person is out of the chair, a new person takes their seat. To make my point, I meet a lot of people, and forget most of them. There are, however, a few that I do remember. There were two in particular that stood out yesterday.

Man #1- This man came in with an old man white afro and a white beard to match. After cutting his puffy hair down to a nice "respectable" cut, he asked me if I would trim his beard as well. I agreed. He said he wanted it completely off. I was curios as to why, because it looked like it had been growing for some time. So to my question he replied,"A little boy came up to me in the street and asked if I was Santa Clause. I came straight here."

Man #2- This man was maybe in his early sixties. He came in with hair past his shoulders... at least in the back. That's right- A MULLET! Three inches long in the front and the scarcest little strings of hair hanging on for dear life in the back. When pulled into a ponytail it was thinner than a pencil. It was the grossest old man mullet ever. I had the privilege of trimming it.

The mullet is a hideous creation.

The Idiocy of Celebrity...

by: Russell Updike | on: 2006-12-19 00:00:00
When are celebrities going to learn how the Constitution works. In a recent speech, Sean Penn (bad hair and all) proved he had no idea how the impeachment process works. "So look, if we attempt to impeach for lying about a [oral sex act], yet accept these almost certain abuses without challenge, we become a [human] stain on the flag we wave." First of all, there was no attempt, Clinton was impeached and stood trial. The technicalities of the case spared him the humilitation of actually being removed. Some people felt the Senate only spared him as to not further marr the Presidency. Any way, Sean Penn went on to quote the Constitution (Article 2, Section 4) taking it way out of context in my opinion. Only two Presidents have ever been impeached: Andrew Johnson, for which the law was specifically written so the could catch him doing something illegal, the Tenure of Office Act which his veto was over-written... he really pissed off Congress that day. And the notoriuos Bill Clinton. I have no idea what sort of offense people want to impeach President Bush over. It seems to me every time they (the media, the liberal wackos, and the cheese-eating surrender monkeys) come up with a charge, they end up tucking their tails between their legs and returning under their rocks. WHY DO ENTERTAINERS FEEL THEY ARE IMPORTANT??? Court jesters, though they were always popular, never seemed to get beyond the fact they were there for a different purpose.

Romney interview

by: Russell Updike | on: 2006-12-18 00:00:00
Mitt Romney has been all over the press lately. He will most likely announce his candidacy for President at the beginning of next year. A lot of his view have been questioned: abortion, gay rights, and of course the Mormon thing. The National Review Online recently published a pretty compreshive interview about his stances on most of the questionable topics. Thought I'd share.

The Mendacity of the Liberal Press

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2006-12-16 00:00:00
I just read an article I found in Druge from the NY Sun. It is called The Mendacity of the Liberal Press. This one is a must read if only to get to this paragraph:

My name, Alicia, means truth, so here it is. We are at war. Our military is the best in the world and the smartest we've ever had. Our enemies are barbaric beheaders who want us dead — period. You cannot negotiate with them. They exist on mendacity.

You have been warned.


Favorite Quote

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2006-12-14 00:00:00
Every week at church there is a newsletter. One of the features is a "quotes of the week" section that highlights some of the pithy wisdom of a few of the members. We are going to have a "Best Of" edition of the newsletter at the end of the year so we have to vote on our favorite quotes so far. I've narrowed it down to the following quotes:Read more...

The Intelligence of Nancy Pelosi

by: Russell Updike | on: 2006-12-13 00:00:00
Oh the choices the future Speaker of the House is making. Fox News published an article on her choice for the Chair of the Intelligence Committee. I don't know who Jeff Stein is but this article seems to indicate he cuts to the quick. Thought you all might like to know.Read more...

Ugly Sweater X-mas Party

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2006-12-10 00:00:00
I went to an ugly sweater Christmas party. I went to a thrift store to get the sweater.

I didn't win. I got the "Fashion Emergency Award." It is sort of an honorable mention. Read more...

Jim Webb the Jerk

by: Justin Mills | on: 2006-12-08 00:00:00
Kim Du Toit, as usual, sums up the issue of the Jim Webb White House incident perfectly.


by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2006-12-02 00:00:00
Last night I performed in a Christmas program for church. I was in the choir. It went well. Afterward, I was introduced to this 16 year old girl. She is the younger sister of a friend who goes to BYU-Idaho. She told me that she wanted to go to BYU-Idaho just like her sister.

"Oh," I say, "What do you want to major in?"

She glibly responds, "I don't know, but I want to have six kids: four girls and two boys!"

"I don't know if you can major in that, even at BYU-Idaho."

Kids. Sheesh.

World Chess Politic

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2006-12-02 00:00:00
Y'all have got to go read this article on the Iraq situation written by none other than one of my favorite world chess champions: Garry Kasparov.

I'm not saying that I agree completely, but the man has me thinking.

So what then, to do? "Mission accomplished" jokes aside, the original goals in Iraq--deposing Saddam Hussein and holding elections--have been achieved. Nation-building was never on the agenda, and it should not be added now. All the allied troops in the world aren't going to stop the Iraqi people from continuing their civil war if this is their choice. As long as Muslim leaders in Iraq and elsewhere are unwilling to confront their own radical elements, outsiders will be spectators in the line of fire.

Maybe it is time for a little pragmatism.