RantFever 4

I pontificate but not in the pejorative sense of the word.

Archive of Rant Fever 3, 2, 1, & Beta

Posts in September 2004

Presidential Debates: Bush Critique

by: Justin Mills | on: 2004-09-30 00:00:00
I have to say that Mr. Kerry looks a little better at the podium than President Bush. The main problem is that Pres. Bush is constantly leaning on the podium. That's bad form, my friends.

Pres. Bush is also getting irked at Kerry's flip-flops and unintelligeble positions. That's understable, but he shouldn't let it show so much. It's not "statesmanlike."

Wall Street Journal versus Texas Democrats

by: Justin Mills | on: 2004-09-29 00:00:00
Just the other day, the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) backed up my position (unwittingly) on the indictments of TRMPAC leaders. Essentially, they said that any indictment from Democrat District Attorney Ronnie Earle (of Travis County) should be viewed as hogwash.

The WSJ pointed out that Mr. Earle also brought Republican Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison up on charges mere hours after her election to State Treasurer years ago in an effort to give then Governor Ann Richards (booooooooo!) a chance to fill the State Treasurer position.

Ronnie Earle is a jerk. One of these days, I'm gonna take that District Attorney job away from him. [insert dramatic vendetta music here]

Party at my house

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-29 00:00:00
That's right, my friends. If you know where I live, you are invited to my house for a Presidential Debate watching party. If you don't know where I live, then you are not invited. Sorry. I'll be sending out my thoughts on the debate as I watch it for all of you kids that can't be at my home, you can at least be with us electronically.

WHERE: el Seco's place
WHEN: Sept. 30 at 7:00 pm

You know you want to come. All the cool kids will be there...

Truce

by: Becca Gardner | on: 2004-09-28 00:00:00
I, (state your name), Hereby forthwith will not remove, alter, or "edit" any writings, ramblings, scibble-scrabbles of Hoodwink's as long as we both shall live. These altercations of Rant fever have effected her chances of being discovered by the Mighty Girl army and hereto thuswith pronounce my defeat.

I started the war.(Hand on the Bible)

And since I can't replace what was once there, I wilt but beg for mercy(On your knees) and buy her flowers and chocolates and parade outside Jimbo's house thrice a day(with big colorful picket signs) till she calls the authorities and they drag me away kicking and I'm left screaming, "I am, but, a loon!".

Sign Here.(sign your name)

Witness(can I get a witness?)

#55170-054

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-27 00:00:00
[Martha Stewart's federal penetentiary number] has been named as #55170-054. So from now on, instead of using her name, I will refer to Martha Stewart as #55170-054.

#55170-054 has not entered prison yet. But don't worry, she will soon.

Judge Miriam Goldman Cedarbaum ordered #55170-054 to report for her five-month prison sentence before 2 p.m. on October 8, 2004.

Inmates "almost always report on the date assigned," Trace Billingsley, Bureau of Prisons spokeswoman, said. She cited exceptions where inmates have "transportation issues," such as on September 11, 2001, when airlines were grounded.

Just in case you were wondering, my friends. :)

France and Germany Eschew Kerry

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-27 00:00:00
Recently, [John F. Kerry has made some pretty strong statements] about our relationship to our allies.

In a speech hammering Mr Bush for his decision to lead the US into Iraq, Mr Kerry said last week that in Afghanistan "I will lead our allies to share the burden."

He continued: "the Bush administration would have you believe that when it comes to our allies, it won't make a difference who is president. They say the Europeans won't help us, no matter what. But I have news for President Bush: just because you can't do something, doesn't mean it can't be done."

Senator Kennedy has shared the opinion that Kerry will somehow be able to include in the coalition countries that heretofore have withheld their cooperation. I don't know where Kerry gets his magical ability to do that, but France and Germany aren't quite on the Kerry bandwagon yet:

French and German government officials say they will not significantly increase military assistance in Iraq even if John Kerry, the Democratic presidential challenger, is elected on November 2.

...

"I cannot imagine that there will be any change in our decision not to send troops, whoever becomes president," Gert Weisskirchen, member of parliament and foreign policy expert for Germany's ruling Social Democratic Party, said in an interview.

...

Michel Barnier, the French foreign minister, said last week that France, which has tense relations with interim prime minister Iyad Allawi, had no plans to send troops "either now or later".

...

A French government official said: "People don't expect that much would change under a Kerry administration, even if things can only get better. We do not anticipate a sudden honeymoon in the event Kerry replaces Bush.

...

The German government continues to oppose sending troops to Iraq under any circumstance.

Ouch. That's got to sting, Mr. Kerry. How in the world can Kerry control other countries, anyway? The whole premise is ridiculous. Now, enough playing around with false promises and let's get down to some real issues. Is that too much to ask?

In the name of ???

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-27 00:00:00
Okay, okay, okay, but let me ask you this: is it worth it to drive 10 hours in a day to see a girl you like? I'm asking hypothetically.

Postmark 21 Sep 2004

by: Becca Gardner | on: 2004-09-24 00:00:00
"...wish I was a dashboard and 2 Dave Matthew's tracks away. Thanks for being my safety net when I may not know that I've fallen.
Yours Truly,"

Cat Stevens Denied Entry Into US

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-23 00:00:00
Cat Stevens was born Steven Demeter Georgiou, but he changed his name when he became a musician. About three decades ago, he became Muslim and changed his name again, this time to Yusuf Islam. Once he became Muslim, he stopped singing. And you know what, that's fine with me. If that is what he wants to do, then okay ... it is his decision to make.

A few years ago, Mr. Islam tried to go to Israel, but was denied entry. Why, you ask? Well, there was a little matter of him making donations to Hamas. [Reuters reports]:

Islam was denied entry to Israel in 2000 after the authorities there accused him of supporting Hamas. He denied the charges then and said his charitable donations were for humanitarian causes.

My, my, my, isn't that a kick in the pants. Mr. Islam was making donations to Hamas for "humanitarian" causes. Now, since when has Hamas been interested in humanitarian causes? I mean, between terrorist acts of murdering innocent Israeli women and children, it is difficult to find the time for humanitarian causes.

Recently, Islam tried to come here. Well, we diverted the plane and sent him back to England. Is there any question as to why? This is a no-brainer, my friends. If a person helps terrorists, I don't want him/her in this country. And if you do help terrorists, don't be surprized when we don't let you come here. Silly Cat, the United States is only for those who love freedom.

When Cat Stevens got back to England, [Reuters reports]:

Asked if he felt victimized, Stevens said: "Absolutely. But you know, for God's sake people make mistakes. I just hope they have made a big mistake.

Now, what the heck does he mean, "I just hope they have made a big mistake?" What kind of talk is that? Why would a Hamas sympathizer hope that the US made a big mistake? Hmm. Sounds to me like Cat Stevens has his priorities mixed up. We are at war. If he is against us, then he is the enemy. It's a good thing we kept him out.

Texas Democratic Party: One Foot In the Grave

by: Justin Mills | on: 2004-09-23 00:00:00
Or maybe it's both feet in the grave.

Recently, a non-profit group established by Tom DeLay (R - Texas), arguably the most powerful Republican in Congress, suffered a blow due to the Travis County indictments of several of it's key members for a myriad of charges, which included money laundering. DeLay was not indicted himself.

Don't believe this for one minute, my friends. The main accusations apparently stem from the Texas Democratic Party. This is merely one more flailing in the death throes of the Texas Democrats. They've been bleeding out like a dying whitetail buck since "Mandate Monday" when the Republicans won the Texas House, the Texas Senate, and all Texas executive positions including the Governership. Then came redistricting, which they fought tooth and nail just because they wanted to hold on to what little power they had. They accused Texas Republicans of gerrymandering and fled to Oklahoma and New Mexico. Now that they lost the battle on redistricting, they're targeting the most prominent Texas Republican save the President: Tom DeLay, of Sugarland.

Watch and enjoy, my friends, the spectacle of a dying breed: the Texas Democrat.

Let the Tax Games Begin!

by: Justin Mills | on: 2004-09-23 00:00:00
The City of Willis, which is north of Houston and south of Huntsville, recently issued orders to residents owning trailer homes that demanded certain improvements to their property. When questioned why the ordinances were passed, the City of Willis said that they were trying to raise property values in order to collect more money in property taxes. The higher one's property is appraised at, the more one must pay in property taxes.

So essentially, the City of Willis is making some of it's citizens spend hundreds, maybe thousands, of dollars to raise their property value, so that the same citizens can then pay more taxes to the state, county, and city.

Now, where I came from, that's called oppression. Duly elected officials are forcing their own constituents to spend money with the sole aim of collecting more taxes. The black-booted heel of tyranny has descended upon the City of Willis.

I mostly blame Carol Keeton Strayhorn, Texas Comptroller. This is the Genius Grandma of Texas Politics who gave us Back-to-School Tax Free Days. A good idea. But, she's also sent out word to many county governments to raise the property values in order to collect more taxes. She knows she can't raise the tax rate, so she'll get your money by stealth instead. Willis is just an example of Strayhorn's mostly horrible policies. It's a shame she calls herself a Republican.

She's also intentionally stirring up dissension with Rick Perry, the Governor, in preparation for her run for the Governor position in 2006.

Naughty, naughty, grandma.

Frank J School of Sovereignty

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-23 00:00:00
I read on IMAO today about an article from [Guardian Unlimited where Jonathan Freedland] whines about not being able to vote in American elections only because of the small matter of him not being a citizen of our country. Well, boo-hoo, Mr. Freedland. In the words of Frank J:

Stop trying to meddle in business where you're not wanted, limey, and save your energy for cowering in fear at our every action.

So here is your lesson in sovereignty today, boys and girls. Every nation is entitled to make their own laws and rules. If you don't like what another nation does, then you can go and join their citizenry and make a difference, or you can shut up. Either way is fine by me, but don't go assuming airs and rights that don't exist and are idiotic to begin with. Actually, Mr. Freedland, stay the heck away from us, we don't like your kind 'round here.

Live Long & Prosper

by: Becca Gardner | on: 2004-09-22 00:00:00
I love when people try to mask they're less than enthusiastic attitudes about their job.

My mom is shaping the minds of tomorrow. She teaches kindergarten. Everyday she has a story about some kid. Sometimes they're a bit racey, involving cat fights between the principal and parent. But sometimes it's just the usual, "Well, Tommy flushed a complete roll of toilet paper and Susie kicked Billy during naptime. On the days when she doesn't mention school, I chance it and ask, "Hey, Ma, how was work?" I cackle as she rolls her eyes, possibly trying to roll away the exhaustion that has wrinkled her face. She responds, "The kids were absolute monsters!"I push my luck and ask if she still likes teaching. I witness a slight hesitation in response before she reassures me she still likes it after 13 some odd years.

How far fetched is it to think we could all be doing what we love and be prosperous at it-both $$$ & :o) ??

I know she loves her job, though some days it can be quite taxing. But every day I see her come home and unwind behind her sewing machine. Some evenings I find myself marveling at her skill while I shirk the time away I could be spending "unwinding" doing something I love.

The only conclusion I can come to is that we should try and be passionate about everything we do. On the not-so-fun tasks, try truly enjoying it by finding the good in it that it brings, if not to you, but others.

Liberal Tonight Show

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-21 00:00:00
That's right, my friends, [Jay Leno has admitted] that he is no conservative. Well, duh! Sure, Letterman shows it more, but c'mon, he's still a celeb living in Hollywood.

I just wish they'd stick to entertainment and leave politics for grown-ups.

NBC, CBS, DNC

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-21 00:00:00
So CBS and NBC don't want the DNC to [use their news clips] in the DNC's commercials. Hmm. I wonder why not. Well, they say something like "They don't want to be involved in partisan politics. C'mon, who are they kidding? Of course, they're partisan. Everyone knows this already. I guess someone in their ranks is still under the impression that the American people think they aren't biased. What's that everyone keeps saying in the wake of Rathergate? "Implosion." Sho' nuff.

Metro vs. Retro

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-21 00:00:00
Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. Here, [you look at it], my friends, and tell me what you think. I found it at [Lilac Rose].

Lilac Rose made an interesting observation on the Retro vs. Metro first ammendment point. (Her words are in italic):

The Republicans who represent [Retro America] in Congress vote for constitutional amendments to ban flag burning, declare the U.S. a Christian nation, allow tax-exempt religious organizations (but not other nonprofits) to engage in partisan politics, and favor limitations on the First Amendment to combat speech and symbols they perceive as pornographic or unpatriotic. [As opposed to combating speech and symbols deemed "politically incorrect". -Ed.]

Mis amigos, there is nothing wrong with the so-called retro America. Those "tolerant" people in metro America don't seem to tolerate those in retro America, do they? Can anyone say "hypocritical?" Believing in God, family, and flag only betters our country. We need more of it!

A Nice Boy

by: Becca Gardner | on: 2004-09-20 00:00:00
I met a nice boy last year.



He's on a mission now.



The story of my life...usually.

Rather Down For the Count

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-20 00:00:00
That's right, my friends, [Dan Rather] and [CBS] have finally come clean. In Mr. Rather's own words:

Now, after extensive additional interviews, I no longer have the confidence in these documents that would allow us to continue vouching for them journalistically. I find we have been misled on the key question of how our source for the documents came into possession of these papers. That, combined with some of the questions that have been raised in public and in the press, leads me to a point where—if I knew then what I know now—I would not have gone ahead with the story as it was aired, and I certainly would not have used the documents in question.

Who, then, deserves the credit for this admittal of defeat from CBS? Who do we honor for such tenacious pursuit of the truth and journalistic integrity? Well, I say the Blogosphere is the victor here, and it is the Bloggers who deserve credit.

Sure, it wasn't only the bloggers who strove to prove the documents were forgeries, but it was the bloggers who pushed the issue from the beginning. Thus, I say congrats to them who pushed so hard and here's to upcoming blogosphere and the comeuppance of the main-stream media.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

by: Becca Gardner | on: 2004-09-20 00:00:00
Respect for the Aged Day (Japan)

It's a little late, but my pocket 2 year calendar misrepresented this holiday today, the 20th of September.

"What began as a village holiday to show honor and respect to the elderly became a national holiday 19 years later."

"If only all people throughout the world honored elders as did the people of Nomatanimura (now Yachiyocho) Japan on September 15, 1947."

On Sept. 15, 1947, Nomatanimura, now known as Yachiyocho mobilized all motorized tricycles in the area to carry local elderly people to a school hall. Masao Kadowaki, head of the village government, said to the senior citizens assembled in the hall, "An elderly person is a treasure for every household and also for our village. Please share with me, a young village head, some of your wisdom." After that, Nomatanimura designated Sept. 15 a village holiday to honor the elderly and held special events to pay respect to senior citizens in the village. The news of this special day spread and in 1966, the central government made 'Respect-for-the-Aged Day' a new national holiday.

Michelle: You go, girl.

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-19 00:00:00
Michelle Malkin doesn't pull her punches, even when her target is President Bush. She has recently posted two articles calling on Bush to, in her own words, "Don't go there." I think she has a point.

Her first article is [DON'T GO THERE, W.]
Her second article is [PRESIDENT BUSH'S MEDICARE DEBACLE]

Big Government is absolutely the wrong direction for this country. I remember when Ronald Reagan said that government is the problem. We've got to let Bush know that we need small government. Of course, one may wonder if this is the best time to be calling out Bush's flaws, but I guess they should be called out sometime.

Madonna Goes Jewish

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-19 00:00:00
So Madonna has converted to the esoteric Jewish mysticism called Kabbalah. Did you know she even changed her name? Yeah, it's Esther now. Hey, if it's Hebrew, it must be good, right?

I think it's great that Madonna has decided to follow a religious faith. This is good. Recently, she went to Israel on a [pilgramige]. Not everyone there was that welcoming, but I think her trip went smoothly, on the whole.

I don't think that she should have gotten the bad vibes from those bystanders, but at the same time, what did you expect would happen? Can you really blame them? Actually, I don't think any of it is really news worthy. Please, let's talk about something other than Madonna, uh, I mean, Esther, from now on. :)

A Nice Girl

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-19 00:00:00
I met a nice girl recently.


She has a boyfriend.


Story of my life ... almost.

Ready, SET, Go

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-19 00:00:00
My little brother spoke in church today. He has really grown up.

Then he was asked to speak to the young men of our church about his mission.

Brother R. came to our house tonight and left a message with us, and he directed the message toward my brother. He said that a mission is really only two years of training and that when a missionary comes home is when he begins to serve. It was a nice message.

It is nice to have my brother home.

AFL: Glenn Haiku

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-17 00:00:00
Evil Glenn Reynolds
Kills and drinks blended puppies
At least once a day


NOTE TO ALLIANCE: Anxiously awaiting the limmerick about evil glenn assignment.

Alliance Filthy Lie (ALF): Kerry's Ratings

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-15 00:00:00
Recently, John Kerry has fallen behind Bush significantly in the polls. Most notably, a gallop poll has shown that he rates below Hoover in his approval rating. All this begs the question, "What can John Kerry do to increase his popularity?"

Kerry has tried several tactics already. These include, but are not limited to, calling himself a war hero in every other sentence he says, trying to be Bill Clinton, and suing everyone that doesn't like him. Since his "litigation equals love" approach hasn't panned out for him, I will offer a few ideas that Kerry can try that will help his approval ratings tremendously.

  • Drop out of the Presidential race
    (This will improve his ratings with conservatives everywhere... Don't knock it till you try it, Mr. Kerry.)
  • Host Saturday Night Live and do a skit as Mr. Ed
  • Do something radical and edgy like, oh I don't know ... stick to only one side of an issue. It's so crazy it just might work.
  • Try starting every sentence with something other than "When I was in Vietnam..."
  • Get a divorce from Teresa and from Edwards.

There you have it, my friends: Everything John Kerry needs to do to improve his ratings.

INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

Kerry and assalt weapons

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-14 00:00:00

Yes, that is John Kerry holding a gun that he apparently objects to. He was on a hunt in Iowa when this picture was taken. He has recently called out Bush on the issue of the assalt weapons ban:

Here’s the question: is George Bush going to stand with special interests or with the safety of the American people? He has 72 hours to decide.

John Kerry continues with this:

Let me be very clear. I support the second amendment. I’ve been a hunter all my life. But I don’t think we need to make the job of the terrorists any easier. I stand with the vast majority of the American people and call on George W. Bush to protect our police – and our security – and keep assault weapons off our streets.

Kerry and guns go way back. [The Drudge Report] wrote about Kerry brandishing a firearm that he has tried to ban. Oh Kerry, when will the flip-flopping stop?

City of Angels

by: Becca Gardner | on: 2004-09-13 00:00:00
"The future always looks good in the golden land, because no one remembers the past. Here is where the hot wind blows and the old ways do not seem relevant....Here is the last stop for all those who come from somewhere else, for all those who drifted away from the cold and the past and the old ways. Here is where they are trying to find a new life style, trying to find it in the only places they know to look: the movies and the newspapers."

--Joan Didion, "Some Dreamers of the Golden Dream"

Slow as ever, main stream media and Rathergate

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-13 00:00:00

The main stream media is finally catching up on what bloggers have been talking about for days. Here's an excerpt from America's ["paper of record"]:

The copies of copies of copies that formed the basis for the latest charges were supposedly typed by Guard officer Jerry Killian three decades ago and placed in his "personal" file. But it is the default typeface of Microsoft Word, highly unlikely to have been used by that Texas colonel, who died in 1984. His widow says he could hardly type and his son warned CBS that the memos were not real.

The author of this article, William Safire, coldly and rationally lays down the evidence that speaks out agains CBS' claims of authenticity. Near the end of the piece, despite Safire's encouragement to Dan Rather, he asks an interesting question: "What should a responsible news organization do?"

So far, CBS has stood by its reporting and has stonewalled by counter challenging anyone to prove the documents false. Hmm. It seems to me that, since CBS made the first argument as to the veracity of the documents, they also have the burden of proof ... especially in the face of so much doubt. Yet, they can't seem to do that. Next step: opperation remove foot from mouth. CBS needs to cowboy up and apologize to the President and the American people for their blunder. Else, they discredit themselves and their whole industry.

I'd say this is good news, my friends. A little truth may hurt, but it is healthy.

UPDATE: I found [this site] from a link on [PowerLine]. It deals with the typesetting specifically from the CBS documents. Definitely worth reading.

You Wanna Have Your SPOON!!!

by: Becca Gardner | on: 2004-09-12 00:00:00
My favorite read lately is the epistle of James, page 1538 of the King James version of the Bible. The particular verses that stood out to me are verses 13 & 14 of Chapter One.
Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Alot of people in this world blame God for things that God isn't or ever will be responsible for and that is our agency--The one thing we are freely given and in control of. Sometimes life happens. Whether by our own bad choices or judgements or by those of others, we are "drawn away". We shrug off the forseen consequences with an attitude of invicibility. It can be quite tragic, but at the same time quite comical. How many times do we keep making the same, tired complaint, all the while stomping our feet infront of God chastening Him for our misgivings? He's God, people!?

When we don't live close to the Spirit we forsake what knowledge and testimony we had stockpiled for a rainy day. Our faith has to be constantly exercised and tested so that it will grow, right? Temptation enters in when we're looking out of the corner of our eye at the flashy, enticing Exit signs Lucifer has rigged up. Why is cheese cake better than Raisin Bran? Because it's loaded with things that initially to the taste are "good", but once we step on that scale we feel remorse for giving in to our sweet tooth.

Always go with the Bran. The goodness of the flakes are listed in plain english on the label. There's coupons for discounts on the next box. There's recipes for a variety of tasty treats if we but partake so we can know for ourselves. Liken the cereal to the scriptures. They've been tested by zillions to nourish and fill our hungered souls in moments of weakness.

We need to take time to realize what a gift agency is. To move, breathe and learn of our own free will and choice. That's something no one can take from us. Makes you feel kind silly when you try to barter with Satan for a lil' cake.

Legend In His Own Time

by: Becca Gardner | on: 2004-09-12 00:00:00
I watched a re-run of the VMA's because I missed the first round. Alicia Keys performed with legendary Stevie Wonder and Lenny Kravitz. Excellent performance. It got me to Walmart to purchase Ms. Keys cd later that day. It also got me thinking about the respect we give to those we consider "legends".

What makes you a legend?

Is it the time you gave to your trade? Is it the amount of platinum hanging on the wall or around your finger? Are you only a respectable legendary figure if you contributed to society or "the biz" without selling out?? Are more celebrity/musicians buying in to Bad Boy/Girl Hall of Fame so they can go down in history?

These are things I thought of while Jimmy Fallon was insulted by the announcer guy Gary.

WTC: Lest We Forget

by: Justin Mills | on: 2004-09-11 00:00:00

Five Days After

Three years and I'm still pretty much at a loss for words...

Images used are from www.september11news.com

Water Under the Bridge, CBS

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-10 00:00:00
As you have surely heard, my friends, CBS' 60 Minues ran a story that had documents "proving" President Bush received preferential treatment during his service in the Air National Guard. Recent developments have shown that the documents are likely fraudulent. [Powerlineblog] has great coverage of this story. Apparently, Drudge linked to him and killed his server for a while today. It must be nice, Power Line Blog. :)

Alliance Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn's Gypsy Fortune

by: Justin Mills | on: 2004-09-09 00:00:00
Word on the street is that Glenn Reynolds recently attended a carnival (like the one from Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradybury). In this carnival a gypsy fortune teller had set up a tent in which to ply her trade.

Mr. Reynolds entered the tent, and the Gypsy divined his future. Up till now, the contents of her divination has been kept secret by Mr. Reynolds and his goons. But I, your fearless freedom fighter and master of all things false, have come upon super secret esclusive documents. Nobody else has them, and nobody else can see them! So don't even ask to see them, because I'll just laugh in your face. The contents of these super secret exclusive documents reveals the fortune told to Mr. Reynolds by the Gypsy woman. I shall reveal the fortune to you, but again, I can't show you the documents. Don't ask why.

The divination went as follows:

"Glenn Reynolds... your puppy-blending ways will gain you much trouble in the days to come... the Alliance will pursue you to the ends of the earth... you will be forced to hide amongst the liberals of the world... then they will discover your true nature, and PETA will blend you into a creamy milkshake... the Alliance will laugh at you... also, tomorrow, your pants will fall down while walking to your car as you leave work. Everybody will laugh then too. You can't avoid the future."

Nader No Longer A Factor

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-09 00:00:00
[Wizbang] found an article in the [Tallahassee Democrat] which reports that Senator John Kerry recently won a tactical victory in removing Ralph Nader of the Green Party from the ballot due to a technicality in the consideration of candidates on Florida ballots.

Nader commented on the recent developments:

I've never seen, in 40 years, a more pell-mell kangaroo court procedure involving any of our third-party activities. This is nothing more than a judge responding to the political imperatives of a nervous and corrupt Democratic Party.

In the words of Wizbang, "the ruling (if upheld) opens the door to denying ballot access to a whole laundry list of smaller parties."

Coke at Camp David Story

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-09 00:00:00
Author Kitty Kelley writes in her upcoming book, The Family: The Real Story of The Bush Dynasty, that [President Bush used cocaine at Camp David]. Kelley uses Sharon Bush as her source for this information. Unfortunately for Kelley, Sharon Bush (Pres. Bush's ex-sister-in-law) has made some interesting revelations since Kelley's intensions have been made public. In Sharon Bush's words:

I categorically deny that I ever told Kitty Kelley that George W. Bush used cocaine at Camp David or that I ever saw him use cocaine at Camp David. When Kitty Kelley raised drug use at Camp David, I responded by saying something along the lines of, 'Who would say such a thing?'

Although there have been tensions between me and various members of the Bush family, I cannot allow this falsehood to go unchallenged.

Sharon Bush's laywer has added, "She talked to Kitty Kelley and there was an agreement that she would not be quoted or used as a source."

Kelley's publishers are standing behind Kelley. Yet, one wonders why Kelley's only source is denying what was written. Perhaps it is because none of what Kelley has said is true and that she is only out to make a profit from a fabricated scandal. Now, I don't have any witnesses that corroborate my hypothesis, but then again, neither does Kitty Kelley.

Like I Said

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-09 00:00:00
An [article from Reuters] reports new information from an Iranian informant. Apparently:

Iran is using negotiations with the European Union's "big three" (France, Britain, and Germany) on suspending sensitive nuclear activities to buy the time it needs to get ready to make atomic weapons, an Iranian exile and intelligence officials said.

Yeah, of course they are. But get this:

The EU trio has expressed disappointment at Iran's failure to keep promises it made in October to suspend all activities related to the enrichment of uranium, a process of purifying it for use as fuel for atomic power plants or in weapons.

Disappointment that Iran lied. Well, duh. Iran lies a lot. Who ever really believes them? Come on, people! You can't trust totalitaian despots, you know that.

Since discovering Iran's failure to keep promises, "the three remain committed to a process of engagement with Tehran." Riiight. Not only that, but "diplomats in Vienna say they will give Iran one more chance to end its enrichment activities before the November UN International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) meeting."

Ah yes. One more chance. Isn't that nice. Of course, Iran has been hiding its weapons program for two decades, but they deserve one more chance, right? Here we go again. You know, both [Dubya] [and I] have talked about this before. Let's just hope that this doesn't end in violence.

Damonized

by: Becca Gardner | on: 2004-09-09 00:00:00
So my latest hearthrob is Matt Damon. You're probably thinkin' to yourself, "Geez, Bec, he was so like 1997!?". Yeah, so sometimes girls think like this, "I like plain chocolate and that's the only kind that I'll deem noteworthy and supreme above all else". But then we get restless and bored on a Saturday night and decide to shake things up a bit. We hit the local grocer's and stumble upon some Ben & Jerry's Phish Food. And to our surprise, we find that it's FANTASTIC. Even though it suffers from a wicked case of freezer burn and we can't make out the expiration date, the lid won't come off fast enough!! It was sitting under our sweet button-noses for years and we only dabbled in it on "fat" days. Come to find out it's what we never knew we always wanted (even on "not-so-fat" days). *sigh*

That my friends, is Matt Damon to me.

I'm not 12yrs old anymore, so I don't know his bio by heart and I don't fall asleep at night dreaming of our fairytale wedding. But, I am doing my duty as a supportive girlfriend to rent his flickers and respect his work. Even when he kisses on Minnie, Claire, Winona and the chick from Rounders, I know it's just for "pretend". It's just a job. Something the silly director's have to throw in for the "groupies" to get 'em flustered and score at least a PG-13 rating to weed out the kiddies. Ya know, so no one feels like they're babysitting during his masterpiece of a movie. Part of the 'biz, I always say.

What we have is magical.

I'm sure if we ever met on VH1's Fanatic he'd say, "Bec, kissing another girl is like kissing my sister!" and then, of course, he'd kiss me to prove that we're not family and quite possibly would call me "dollface".

It is written in the stars.

Fine. This is all I know...He's 5'11" and his middle name is "Paige".

Alliance Filthy Lie #4: What the Protestors Wanted

by: Justin Mills | on: 2004-09-07 00:00:00
As we all know, hundreds of protestors clogged the streets of New York City during the Republican National Convention. We know this because the news media had pictures of them everywhere. The ratio of RNC coverage to protester coverage was about 15 minutes of RNC coverage for every hour of protestor coverage.

What the media ignored, however, was the actual demands of the protestors. The demands of the various groups are too many to list in full, but herein I will provide an adequate cross-section of the protestor population's demands.

NYC/RNC Protestor Demands:

  1. An end to violence
  2. Death to all Republicans and Christians
  3. Religious tolerance and separation of church FROM state
  4. The outlawing of the Judeo-Christian God
  5. Muslim, Buddhist, and atheistic curriculum in schools
  6. A better economy
  7. A Communist state
  8. An end to bipartisan politics.
  9. More filibusters on Republican backed bills and appointees
  10. A more sensitive War on Terror [Hunh?! -- Dubya]
  11. A successfull war on terror
  12. One group just gave up trying to hide their true intent and just demanded the destruction of the United States of America. They were screaming something about Joseph Stalin too.

Yeah, those positions look contradictory to me too. But apparently, that's what liberals call "nuance."

Baseball Predictions

by: Justin Mills | on: 2004-09-07 00:00:00
We're nearing the end of the season, and as of yet nobody's clinched a playoff spot. This is my prediction for the World Series:

The Glorious Boston Red Sox will defeat the Shameful and Despised St. Louis Cardinals in 5 games, thus breaking the Curse of the Bambino.

That's the way it will be.

Russian Hostage Crisis

by: Justin Mills | on: 2004-09-04 00:00:00
I'm sure you all have heard about the [hostage crisis] in Beslan, North Ossetia, Russia. This is a tragic incident, but I can't help but think that if Russia had put forth a harsher policy with the Chechan and Ossetian terrorists this might have been avoided. Russian President Vladimir Putin criticized the United States for the way we're conducting the War on Terror, specifically the war in Iraq. I'd like to point out, though, that while the Russian Federation is still having major terrorism problems, the United States has made measureable progress in the security of the nation.

And now, the EU is putting [their foot in their mouth] again. As usual. The answer to the EU president's question, "How could Russia let this happen," is of course, "lack of an effective anti-terrorism policy." But it's not the place of a Dutchman to chide the President of Russia. It's not the place of the the EU, or the U.S., to chide the President of Russia. What the U.S. should do is go to the Russian Federation and say, "Would you like to join our War on Terror? We'd be more than happy to have you as partner."

Arnold and Rudy

by: Justin Mills | on: 2004-09-03 00:00:00
While Giuliani and Schwarzenegger are a bit too far to the left for me to support either being president in the future, I am so glad they're in the Republican Party. No doubt, they ARE Republicans, and we can use their charisma and good oration skills. Arnold might have a heavy accent, but the man is still a good speaker. If we can get a good conservative to run for the presidency in '08, and get Giuliani and Schwarzenegger top campaign heavily for him, we have a good shot at beating Hillary.

If we can get Zell Miller to endorse our next candidate in '08, more the better. That guy rocks the house.

School of Nerds

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-02 00:00:00
All of my classes this semester are computer classes. That's right, about ninety computer geeks are my class mates. It strikes me as staggering. So many nerds just walking around institutions of higher learning. It would be frightening if it were intimidating. The kicker to me is how well I fit in. Oh, the humanity! What has become of me?! All this time ... and I was so sure that I was cool ...

Janeane Who?

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-02 00:00:00
I saw Janeane Garofalo on television with that guy that used to do MTV's TRL. Oh, you know, Carson whatever. Anyway, as you know, Ms. Garofalo is on Air America, the left-wing talk radio network. Garofalo said something to the effect that since she's started her show on Air America, the right-wing has embittered her in the hearts of the American people and that 48 percent of the United States hates her now. Oh please, Air America has something like six affiliates and a total of 73 listeners nation-wide, 48 percent of the population doesn't even know who she is, and those that do know her don't care that much about her. Can anyone say "arrogant?"

Of course, if everyone did know her, I'm sure that at least 48 percent would hate her. The other 52 percent still wouldn't care.

That Is What I'm Talking About

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-02 00:00:00
It is kind of sad and kind of awesome. [Zell Miller has said exactly what I've been waiting to hear in his speech last night to the Republican National Convention.] It is too bad that it took a Democrat to say it. But that's okay. Now we (conservatives Republicans) need to take it from here and run with it. Let me give you a taste of what he said:

Together, Kennedy/Kerry have opposed the very weapons system that won the Cold War and that is now winning the War on Terror.

Listing all the weapon systems that Senator Kerry tried his best to shut down sounds like an auctioneer selling off our national security but Americans need to know the facts.

The B-1 bomber, that Senator Kerry opposed, dropped 40 percent of the bombs in the first six months of Operation Enduring Freedom.

The B-2 bomber, that Senator Kerry opposed, delivered air strikes against the Taliban in Afghanistan and Hussein's command post in Iraq.

The F-14A Tomcats, that Senator Kerry opposed, shot down Khadifi's Libyan MIGs over the Gulf of Sidra. The modernized F-14D, that Senator Kerry opposed, delivered missile strikes against Tora Bora.

The Apache helicopter, that Senator Kerry opposed, took out those Republican Guard tanks in Kuwait in the Gulf War. The F-15 Eagles, that Senator Kerry opposed, flew cover over our Nation's Capital and this very city after 9/11.

I could go on and on and on: against the Patriot Missile that shot down Saddam Hussein's scud missiles over Israel; against the Aegis air-defense cruiser; against the Strategic Defense Initiative; against the Trident missile; against, against, against.

This is the man who wants to be the Commander in Chief of our U.S. Armed Forces?

U.S. forces armed with what? Spitballs?

When are we going to move beyond Swift Boats and Viet Nam? Let's talk about John Kerry's very liberal Senatorial record. This is what will defeat him, and he knows it. Otherwise, he wouldn't focus so much on Viet Nam -- he'd run on his Senate record. So I say, don't let him run on what he wants to run on. Force him to talk about his past. To quote the bible, "by their fruits shall ye know them."

Amen.

Kerry Is Scary

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-02 00:00:00
[The World Tribune] has a story of Kerry's recent plans to break of the current US policy towards Iran's nuclear weapons program.

According to WorldTribune.com:

Kerry aides said that, if elected, his administration, in cooperation with the European Union, would offer a deal to Iran that would allow the Islamic republic to retain its nuclear facilities. In return, Teheran would have to pledge to return all imported nuclear fuel acquired for its reactor at Bushehr.

So Iran returns its nuclear fuel, but it gets to keep its "nuclear facilities." Basically, they get to keep their gun, but they can't have any bullets.

Apparently, this plan has been in circulation for a while:

The Kerry position has long been recommended by State Department circles. Current and former U.S. diplomats have warned against a U.S. confrontation with Iran, instead proposing a so-called "grand bargain" with Teheran that would include a removal of sanctions imposed on Iran.

They don't want to confront Iran. Ooh. Big, bad, scary Iran. I recall they used to say the same thing about the Soviet Union. Don't confront it! It is too scary. We can fight evil by capitualting at every possible turn.

You know, what really is scary is that Kerry wants to do this at all. In the end, assuming it even works, Iran will still have everything they need for nuclear power with the exception of nuclear fuel. They will have their gun completely assembled and ready for a bullet or two. Instead of cutting deals, we should be giving ultimatums. They know what we did to Saddam, they will submit or face the consequences.

Currently, Bush is seeking a diplomatic solution. Regardless, the end result should not be us settling for some "grand bargain." Instead, we should be decisive and up front with the Iranians that they can have no nuclear program or nuclear "facilities." Of course, I like Bush and hope he will do what is best for the country. I wonder how long he'll try for a diplomatic solution before he considers *gasp* military action. In Bush's own words, "The military option is always the last option for a president, not the first." I hope it does not come to that, but it is good to know that we now have a President that is willing to do what it takes to keep us safe. Here's to four more years!

He Said It. Bush Said It!

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-02 00:00:00

That's right, my fellow Americans. I heard the President say it tonight in his speech at the Republican National Convention. The full text of the speech can be found at [Yahoo! News]. I support the President for his position on the war on terror. I feel it is the most important issue facing us in this election. However, I have been very frustrated with his spending habits. He talked about his future spending today. In his own words:

My plan begins with providing the security and opportunity of a growing economy. We now compete in a global market that provides new buyers for our goods, but new competition for our workers. To create more jobs in America, America must be the best place in the world to do business. To create jobs, my plan will encourage investment and expansion by restraining federal spending, reducing regulation and making tax relief permanent. To create jobs, we will make our country less dependent on foreign sources of energy. To create jobs, we will expand trade and level the playing field to sell American goods and services across the globe. And we must protect small business owners and workers from the explosion of frivolous lawsuits that threaten jobs across America.

I have no way of knowing for sure if he will keep that promise. But I know that he says what he thinks, and now we can hold him to his word. His job approval is the highest it has been since April. The polls show that he is still ahead of Kerry. The future looks bright, my friends: Bush said it!

God and Government

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-02 00:00:00
[President Bush shared a truism in his speech at the Republican National Convention.] The president's words:

Freedom is not America's gift to the world, it is the Almighty God's gift to every man and woman in this world.

The President has been criticized by some for his belief in God. People shout phrases like "separation of church and state." In actuality, the U.S. Constitution never uses this phrase. It speaks of religion; however, its object was to ensure that the government never sponsored a specific religion.

I think it would be wrong for the government or any organization or person to try and force religion on anyone. This has little to do with prayer in school or having the phrase "under God" in the pledge. It does not mean that religion and government should eschew each other. The saying is "separation of church and state," not "separation of church from state."

There are those that attack supposed "infringement" of the separation of church and state philosophy. We need to be careful about the overzealous actions of special intrest groups. Let me say it now, very clearly: the strength of this nation does not lie it its economic prowess or its military might but in its relationship with God. Our departure from God's good graces flags or will flag our demise as a sovereignty.

The Blogoshpere Political Comapss Project

by: Abinadi Ayerdis | on: 2004-09-01 00:00:00
I just took the Political Compass test. (You can too, [click here].) I scored as follows:

Economic Left/Right: 5.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 1.13

It was just about exactly were I saw myself. Anyway, [The Zoo] is hosting this project. It is a cool idea. Now it is possible to graphically see the political leanings of bloggers all over the blogosphere. Right now, it leans heavily to the right, however, I'm sure as more bloggers do it, it will lean even more heavily to the right. :)